This is What it Feels Like When Someone Calls You Fat- 1 Year Later

Exactly one year ago, I had a story published on Seventeen.com. One year ago, I came forward with all of the issues that I had been struggling with since I was in the fourth grade. One year ago, I unlocked the chains that had been holding me from my true potential.

My article was a first person narrative detailing my troubles with body issues. In a nutshell, I had been struggling with body issues for a very long time, but when I got to college, I promised myself that I would no longer be held back. That was until a guy on my floor decided to say that, because I was curvy and not a size two, I was not a woman.

This floored me, and looking back now I feel that I had every right to be angry at this guy. His words haunted me and made me into a shell of myself.

With help from a therapist and a fantastic support system, I was able to overcome this incident. I learned that the size of my waist does not determine my compassion, intelligence, or sense of humor. I can be awesome if I were to be a size two or a size twenty; it didn’t matter.

One year later, I wish I could say that I have stuck to my guns with this. But sadly, I do not think my body issues will ever go away. There are days when I feel great and that the world is my oyster. And then there are other days where the last thing I want to do is go outside, because then people will see me and judge me.

I have come very far in the past year. I have accomplished some absolutely incredible things and made some even more incredible friends. I have learned more about myself then I ever thought I could.

Writing my article was the best choice I could have made in regards to the issues I still have with my body. But it has also done so much more than that.

My article has inspired me to launch my own platform where girls can tell their own first person stories about the struggles they have faced. Think Ophelia Speaks or Chicken Soup for the Girl’s Soul, but online. It hasn’t launched yet, but look out for the blog You Are Enough!

I am so happy that my story was published. The feedback I got was so inspiring, that other girls had gone through similar things and that we were able to help each other out with our mutual experiences. I got some hate for my article, but the outpouring of love was so much more than the negativity I experienced.

I will never completely overcome my body issues. But I will get to the point where the two of us can coexist peacefully.

” Being curvy does not make me any less kind, any less creative, or any less funny. It does not mean that I am lazy, it does not mean I am a slob, it does not mean that I am not desirable. It does not make me any less of a woman or a human being for that matter. I am a curvy girl, but that does not mean that I am less.” {Carly Cundiff, Seventeen Article}

http://www.seventeen.com/life/real-girl-stories/a30234/how-i-accepted-being-curvy-doesnt-make-me-less-than/

A Kid at Heart

Hi there. I have a pretty big confession to make. On the outside, I look like any other 20-year-old basic white girl. I go to school at a university, drink way too many chai tea lattes, and am a little bit more than slightly obsessed with my favorite red lipstick.

That is not even close to what I am like on the inside.

On the inside, I would probably more resemble an eight-year-old.  I color, play outside after school and sustain myself on Kraft’s macaroni and cheese.

I am not ashamed of this part of me in the slightest.

I love being a kid at heart. It makes me feel lighter and free of some of the responsibilities that plague me during harder times.

Being a kid at heart means that I dream big. One day, I see myself as the Press Secretary for the President of the United States. Think C.J. Craig a la “The West Wing,” but in a classy and stylish pencil skirt. The next day, I am sitting in a classroom surrounded by my students. I am throwing truth bombs about the real world all over the place, and my students are absolutely enthralled by what I am teaching them. Other days, I am at home. I take care of my kids and write novels that are known around the world.

Who knows if these dreams will come true or not? But that is the cool thing about dreams. They are yours and no one else’s. People can step on them, but no one can truly take away your dreams. So why not dream as big as you possibly can?

Because I am basically a kid, a huge part of my heart is carved out and dedicated to all things Disney. As I write this, Spotify is playing my fine-tuned “Dream a Dream” playlist, which is a collection of my favorite Disney songs. And, since you were wondering, it is fantastic.

baymax
Me and the Bae(max)

I have also seen “Zootopia,” Disney’s latest animated feature, twice in theaters, because I am a child.

Being a kid at heart has huge benefits. For example, I love unconditionally. Words are usually my weapon of choice, and I love using them to build people up instead of tearing them down. I love the rain and I love the sun, and I even love the snow (with the major exception of when it decides to come at the beginning of April).

I want to know how the world works and why some things happen. I want to know the motives behind actions and how those actions effect others. After all, isn’t asking a million questions better than asking none at all?

Today’s society forces kids to grow up so fast. And while this is happening, I think that people lose some of what is great about being a child: loving unconditionally, creativity, curiosity. Kindergarteners today are getting homework. When I was in kindergarten, I can remember getting off the school bus and running around outside with the rest of the neighborhood kids until the streetlights came on. That doesn’t happen as much anymore.

Being a kid at heart does not mean that I am scared to grow up, however. It just means that even though I will be an adult, I will still find time to let my inner child out.

We all have a kid inside of us. It’s the part of us that gets excited when we see puppies or cupcakes or Lizzie McGuire. It’s the part of us that looks up at the sky at night and wonders about what could be out there. It’s the part of us that sees a person and doesn’t judge them by how they look on the outside, but how they are on the inside.

I encourage each and every one of you to embrace your inner child. Watch Hercules on a rainy day instead of Saw IV. Go to a local park and fly a kite. Skip around your rooms, dancing to some of your favorite songs.

You would be surprised at how happy you feel when you let go just a little bit.

“Adults are only kids grown up anyway” {Walt Disney}

To the Friends I Don’t See Everyday

Hello.

I know that we haven’t talked in awhile. Some of you I haven’t spoken to or seen in months. But that’s okay.

How are you? I know you are probably super busy with jobs and school and everything. Trust me, I get it. I really do.

It’s okay that we haven’t spoken in awhile. It really is. Life gets in the way sometimes. But whether I see you every single day or only on super special days, please know that I still love and treasure you.

I have been friends with some of you for years and years, but different schools have pulled us apart. The cool thing about our relationship though is that we don’t need to speak to each other every single day to maintain our bond. I know that if I needed you, you would be here in a flash, and vice versa.

friends
We clean up pretty good.

Others of you I have only known for about year, and you are now traveling the world, seeing new sites and learning new things. Please know that I relish seeing your SnapChats and Instas, because I am literally living through you. So if you are ever questioning whether you are posting too many pictures, you are not. Keep ’em coming!

skating
What you don’t see in this picture: Me clinging to my friends for balance as I do a pretty poor attempt at ice skating.

For the rest, even though we haven’t known each other for very long, I’m pretty sure you know that you are stuck with me now, because I have flat-out told you. I cherish every moment we are in contact, because then I get a brief, fleeting moment of our time face to face and all the memories we have created when we talk.

princess
Move over, Cinderella. It’s our castle now.

 

Just because we don’t talk everyday or see each other all the time does not mean that you are not incredibly special to me. It’s actually quite the opposite. You are so special to me, whether you are 5 minutes or 12 hours away.

And if you ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask me. When I make friendships, I invest in them. I will never be too busy for you guys.

Love you all to the moon and back.

Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they are there. {Christy Evans}